so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
