Whod you bang
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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