we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
