I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
