singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
