I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
