I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
