its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
