butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Welp...herpes.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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