i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
