I want to make a zoo with you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
