coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
