He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
