im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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