i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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