Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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