It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
