I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
