i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
