Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
