You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
