I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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