was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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