would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
