I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
