Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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