My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
