The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
