hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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