my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
love makes seman taste better
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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