Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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