i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
