My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
