so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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