He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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