The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
