He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
