it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
