She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
