she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can't turn off my feet"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
