what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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