Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize