I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize