Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
