why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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