it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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