i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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