party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize