He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
