my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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