First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
