i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
