my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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