FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
