Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
