kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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