TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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