check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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