so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
