someone get that fucking seahorse.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize