i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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