i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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