We're like a lot better than the average bears
no, he came in my armpit
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
