The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
