Your dad touched me again.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
